Monday, March 22, 2010

Capturing - Part 1

For a description of capturing, see here.

From the LDS Family Services Addiction Recovery Program Guide Book - Page v

We have known great sorrow, but we have seen the power of the Savior turn our most devastating defeats into glorious victories.

Anyone who has suffered from addiction can relate to sections of this sentence. I know what great sorrow feels like. I know what devastating defeats feel like. In fact, devastating defeats is the perfect description of many of my relapses. Time after time I have worked to stay sober. Time after time I have felt success and peace as the Lord blesses me with a slowly changing heart. And time after time I have felt completely and utterly devastated when I fall yet again.

But, I think I am focusing on the wrong part of this sentence (as my character weakness of self-pity would want me to do). The great part of this sentence is the victory. These people have experienced victory in the atonement of Jesus Christ. They have felt the sorrow and pain I have felt and have come out on the other side with a tremendous victory in Christ. That is a powerful message of hope.

We who once lived with daily depression, anxiety, fear, and debilitating anger now experience joy and peace.

Once again I love the contrast of this sentence. I have felt all of the emotions in this sentence. I know how painful it is to live in addiction. I've done it for 24 years. It brings on feelings that I can't escape. It makes me feel worthless and useless. More than that, it makes me feel like a tool of destruction. I feel like every relationship I build is destroyed by my actions.

There I go again, finding it easier to focus on the negative than the positive. What is the real message of this sentence? That there is joy and peace out there to be enjoyed. I have felt that too. Anytime I turn to the Lord and experience a period of righteousness, I feel calm in my life. I feel peace. And there is no feeling greater than the gift of peace from my Savior when I am making efforts to live His way.

We have witnessed miracles in our own lives and in the lives of others who were ensnared in addiction.

That is what I need...a miracle. But you know what? A miracle is what is out there waiting for me. It's happened to others. In fact, I believe it happens to every single person who will truly humble themselves before the Lord and turn their live and will over to Him. It is this miracle of healing that I ask the Lord for every day, and this miracle of healing that keeps me going in the face of the devastating defeats.

I believe in the miracle of healing from my Savior Jesus Christ. That faith, no matter how wavering it is at times, keeps me getting up every time I fall.

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