Sunday, February 6, 2011

Life is Busy

My life is extremely busy right now. Between a demanding job, kids, family, marriage, and school, my wife and I do not lack for ways to spend our time. This may sound like a complaint, but as I think about it, I don't think it is.

For an addict like myself, I think busy is good. Keeping my time occupied is fulfilling and productive. Being productive is the complete opposite of acting out in addiction. When I'm acting out, I am destroying rather than producing. So when I am being productive and active, it gives me a natural high rather than the chemical 'fake' high I get from pornography.

Still, there are some challenges that come with being so busy. There are activities which I know will benefit me that are hard to fit in. Exercise, writing, spending time on recovery efforts all fall into this category. Not to mention that I enjoy cooking and wish I had the time to cook more healthy foods for our family.

Add on to all of that the simple fact that a strong marriage takes a lot of quality time together. When a marriage has been damaged the way ours has, it takes even more time. This is time I freely want to give. I want to do what it takes to build our marriage. But again, it's easy for the busyness of life to overwhelm even our best intentions in that regard.

So I am trying to manage my time wisely and with the guidance of the spirit. I don't always do it right, in fact I may be wrong more than I am right. But as a classic addict, the one thing I need to avoid is getting down on myself because things don't always go perfect.

I wake up everyday early, and I try to be as productive as possible, and for not...that feels like the right approach.

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