Thursday, October 23, 2008


Morning #1: My alarm goes off at 5:15 AM. I roll over, glare at the clock, put the pillow over my ears, and rationalize every reason why I really don't have to get up so early this morning. Sometimes I win the battle, sometimes I lose. Why is it so difficult to get out of bed?

Morning #2: My alarm goes off at 4:30 AM. I hop out of bed without a single thought, eager and ready to go. No struggle, no mumbling about that dirty alarm clock, no complaining. Why? I am going fishing on the Green River this morning. Nothing is going to stop me from my appointment with the great outdoors.

What is the difference in these two scenarios? My DESIRE. When I am doing something I truly want to do, the steps necessary to get there are almost effortless. Even if those steps may have been difficult under other circumstances.

When making difficult changes in our lives, our desire may be the single most important factor in our ability to maintain the change. What we truly desire becomes easier to do. In fact, if our desire is strong the change almost naturally follows.

I started to make real progress on my addiction recovery when my desire to change became greater than my desire for the addiction. When I wanted the change so bad I was willing to do anything to get it, that is when it became easier to do the difficult tasks addiction recovery requires.

"God granteth unto men according to their desire" (Alma 29:4).

In the end, it was what we truly desire, deep down in our hearts, that we become. Therefore, it important that we pay honest attention to what our true desires are.

Neal A. Maxwell said "Remember, brothers and sisters, it is our own desires which determine the sizing and the attractiveness of various temptations" (Ensign, Nov 1996). If I am tempted in ways that are hard for me to resist, maybe the first place I should look are the desires of my heart.

Do I want to change, or do I actually still want to be a part of the world?

Is my desire to read the scriptures every day, or would I rather spend time watching TV?

Is my desire to pay a full tithing, or would I rather use the money on myself?

Is my desire to fully repent of my sins by confessing them honestly, or is it more important for me to save face?

If I desire the things of the Savior, my actions will follow.


Your Brother in the Gospel said...

Thank you for your post. I hope it is okay but I used what I learned from your post in my post today. It was a great insight to me. It was really another step that I needed towards full recovery of my pornography addiction.

Rog said...

I recently read your post. What a relief it was to find others who struggle with addiction. I know there are many who do however not many are willing to start a blog on their recovery and experiences. I recently started a blog at At first I was scared to start then I started finding others who fight addiction as well.

I've been attending the LDS twelve step program for about ten months now. What a great strength that has been for me. If you don't attend, I would strongly suggest you find one in your area and go. you can find the information on the LDS website. You may even ask your bishop and he can direct you where to go. I look forward to hearing more of your posts. Thank you.

yieldingmyheart said...

Your brother,

I read your post and I wish you all the best. I don't have much wisdom, but I do hope some of the mistakes I have made can help others avoid them. If you would ever like to email me, to talk more in private, my email is in my profile. Feel free.

And all the best. Continue sharing your success and failures. It is definitely theraputic.

Kim Nordyke Mack said...

I love your thoughts and your focus. Keep going forward!